Honestly, I am not looking foward to 888.
I found out today that sxephil is going! ugh. I hear he's super nice IRL but I know I will be a jerk to him if I see him, which I probably will. Whatever.
The main reason for my apprehension is I don't like how people creepily filmed me like it was youtube safari or something at 777. People were just constantly filming me the entire time I was in the park without even speaking to me! It was obnoxious!! Plus a lot of people just kept asking me how my flight was which got tiring after the 47th time. I know- what else are you gonna talk about? But it just irks me.
I might be a total douche when I'm there, so, if you are reading this and you're going, or are mad at me cause I was a douche to you at it and left after 40 minutes, then... it was nothing personal and sorry.
yeah so... I dunno. I know I will have a good time when I'm hanging out with my e-friends and people I actually know, but the 'meet and greet'-y parts are really quite uncomfortable for me but I feel obliged to go to them. Me and the other handful of 'e-celebs' (shudder) don't deserve to be lauded- we just hit the youtube jackpot of being in the right place at the right time and being featured or being popular for whatever reason. We don't have anything special to say, and certainly don't deserve to be held up as some sort of youtube gods or some shit.
But then- why am I going to this thing? I'm sure I sound like a total asshole right now. I bet it looks to the cynically minded like I and other people want to go to these things to feel like a celebrity, to feel special and popular, and no amount of my denying it (which I do) will change those people's minds about it.
What I actually go to these things for is the peripheral things- the informal gathering-y things which are like sattelites to the gargantuan main event, the dinner at Applebees, the drinking at bars, being on a hot roof with 4 amazing people in New york, more drinking at bars, the escaping from the noise of one place for the quiet solitude of a hotel room or fire escape.
It's the moments of smaller, more familiar groups which I enjoy these events for, that I have photographs of and memories of which I cherish, compared to the dread of the main event and all it's unnerving Britney-Spears-on-a-normal-day-followed-by-paparazzi ways.