Sunday, June 29, 2008

Indiana and the Crystal Skull review (expanded)

So, I read Mark's review/damnation of Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skull, aswell as the Editing Room's 'abridged script' and along with further thought of my own and discussion with other people who've seen it, have drawn a few conclusions about the whole thing..

PS, obviously there's spoilers galore in this post so if you don' want to know the AMAZING* plot twists, don't read the rest of this post til you've seen it/don't care anymore.
*not amazing

I think, still, my main issue with this film was that the 'crystal skull' was so obviously not made of crystal, due to it's being so obviously light and chuck-about-able, that every time I saw someone waving it around like it was no heavier than candy floss, I got distracted from the story and reminded I was watching a movie. I don't know if that was so big a deal to other people, as I imagine most people don't have giant chunks of glass and crystal around their house, or indeed, a real bone skull (like me).

But I digress. After reading the aforementioned things, I also agree about the blatant CGI use- there was NO NEED for the stupid and Alvin and the Chipmunks-esque prairie dog at the beginning- seriously, wtf was that even for?! and the alien at the end just seemed pointless and too 'OH BY THE WAY THEY WERE ALIENZ! BETCHOO DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING' and it felt too dumbed down for me, cause I kinda figured that out when the movie started in Area 51 and the skull looked like a fucking alien. As Mark points out, it made no sense how they turned into a real single alien like they did once the skull was returned, despite being 13 skeletons the rest of the time- how were they sitting before one skull was removed if they are actually only one alien?

The plot holes are another thing that, on reflection, I have more and more of a problem with. What WAS that, about 'are you a commie?!' why DID he get fired and then amazingly rehired with nothing said... did he prove himself to the authorities by taking part in this weirdo alien skull thing happening in another country with nothing to show for it once he returned?
The rocket ship being at Area 51 works for me, as does the hangar full of random artifacts, because it's SO secretive and all, but why WAS there a nuclear testing facility so close to it all?

The 'twists' were so NOT twists!! Oh how surprising, that kid that his ex girlfriend had IS HIS SON OMG and they get back together at the end how surprising. It just felt like the director (I mean YOU Spielz) was talking to us like 5 year olds, it was so patronising.

There are many parts in which really unlikely things happen, and we're supposed to believe that they are perfectly feasable. For one, the 3 waterfalls that they miraculously survive falling down. That's just nonsense. As was the cartoonish tree bending down and placing them onto the water then pinging back to hit a bunch of enemies still on the cliffside. As was the snake-rescue from quicksand.

There were so many weird little non-sequiturs and impossible plot points and just general silliness, that would have been ok if there had only been less of them, it being a fantaasy fun family film and all... But there were too many to make the plot, characters or action believable. You really didn't invest that much in any of the characters, because you knew they'd bounce back to life like Wiley Coyote, should anything happen to them. It was like a cartoon brought to life, and made the film just... nonsense.

So after further digestion, I have to conclude that I actually didn't like the film THAT much afterall.


steven spielberg said...

Yeah...well...I can't wait to see your Zombie Movie. I'm sure that will be much more believable

Infoholic UK said...

I think a lot of adults are judging these movies while forgetting that they were kids when the saw the earlier films.

Of course it was unbelieveable, it's an Indiana Jones movie. You have seen the other three, right ? Ark of the Covenant killing the Nazis ? Holy Grail curing bullet wounds ? Surviving a plane crash AND a fall off a cliff on just an inflatable life-raft (Temple of Doom) ? Aliens seem positively likely by comparison.

My kids have watched all four films for the first time in recent weeks, and they thought the new one was the best. Having sat through it all with them, seeing the originals for the first time in 20 years, I tend to agree with them. And as they're the target market - job done !

Blackcherries said...

I didn't like the film either, but then I read somewhere that George Lucas makes films for children, and that is why adults (who watch things like the newer episodes of Star Wars and Indiana Jones) don't like them like they remember liking them when they were children. Charracters like Jar Jar Binks are meant to be for children to find entertaining.