Saturday, May 31, 2008

long post about bitching women

So... I know... I know I keep going on about Jezebel.. but I really like reading it- I like how American and New Yorky and especially how it's women who i don't generally dislike (cause I kind of generally don't really get on with women- I think it's because of my girls school schooling). But.. yeah, like the last post- it's my blog so nurr.

I don't really get this website sometimes. On the one hand it's written by strong feminist women who don't take shit and who really try to look at the world from a female perspective. Then on the other hand, there's all this bumpfy fashion and celebrity gossip news, which no doubt brings in the views (and thus the money from ad-revenue) but it seems so at odds with the more serious side of the site. There's articles about how women are driven to be fashionable and thin and 'bag a man' and blah-de-blah, all because of myriad dumb reasons but at the same time it caters to those same things with news about the fucking Olsen twins and 'The Hills' (which I still haven't seen and don't want to) and always the premiere of some movie in Hollywood and look at all their pretty clothes and how thin and pretty they all are.

It's like 'Ugh, this is all such bullshit! We shouldn't care about all this crap!!! Lets focus on important things! but omg did you see Jennifer Aniston has a boyfriend!!!'

But I kind of get it at the same time- it IS a commercial blog with advertisers and all, and I get how things work on the internet- gossip and fashion are going to generate more cashmoney than stuff about rape and sex trafficking and anorexia and how depressing everything is underneath it all.

And actually- maybe that's just it. That dichotomy between the shallow and the deeper, serious stuff- Women are interested in these things- I may be talking about it right now, but I look at the fashion pages and the gossip stuff, I'm subscribed to a blog called Shoewawa for christ's sake, but at the same time, I like the serious shit that they post which actually makes me think. And perhaps that's what women want (ugh, side note: have you ever seen the movie What Women Want? UGH.). We like the fluffy 'THIS SKIRT IS SO CHIC' bullshit because it's so far removed and so distracting from the depressing 'BEING RAPED IS REALLY BAD' stuff, that if we thought about it for even a little while- the pay gap between men and women, female genital mutilation, rape, this bullshit election preamble, the whore/madonna choices we (women) all make, etc etc etc... well surely if we focussed on that we'd just cry ourselves to sleep every night. So lusting after some $1000 shoes that we'll never buy or have reason to wear is kind of a nice distraction maybe, despite all the cynical machinations of wealth, fame, fashion, the press, perez hilton, the paparazzi, men since the dawn of time, insecurity, other people, our mothers, our fathers, and all sorts of everything that have gone into us wanting them. even if we're aware of all those people pulling our own emotional strings.

Which leads me onto writing about what I wanted to write about in the first place with this. One of the Jezebels, Moe, wrote about Rihanna being 'not that pretty' and then seemed to get flamed for it in comments, purely because they themselves (Jezebel) get totally high and mighty about people saying bitchy things about the appearance of celebrities (or whoever), so much so that then she actually apologised in a later post! (god, I read this blog too much).

And I just kind of... yeah- I don't get it. I don't get you, Jezebel!
Something that is quite central to female bonding, despite perhaps our collective guilt at it, is bitching. Slagging off, gossiping, commiserating. But centrally- bitching. The denigration of someone we don't like (usually because we are subconsciously jealous of them in some way, or they started the bitchiness, probably for the same reason) makes us feel better. It makes us feel like we are better than they are. It's not always directed at a person- it's the same as railing against the shit weather of London and all the fucking Italian tourists in your way (always in your way!!) on Oxford Street (as I was yesterday), but worse, really, because it's not circumstances, it's an entire person with wants and needs and all that goes along with being a human being.

Uh.. I trailed off.

Yeah i think bitching is an inherent part of being a woman. We can avoid it and we can try our best to not do it- BUT WE ALL DO IT. So.. prbably best to try to not do it too much, Moe, but I mean obviously, you never do it- but see? the veil is so thin- it's but a click away. You think so and so looks fat, or some other person looks old, or Rihanna is weird looking. Isn't jezebel about being true and honest to and about yourself as a woman? Cause something I do (especially on long days) is bitch the fuck out of whoever is in my way/pissed me off/is just THERE when I am pissed off (in my mind). It's not something to be proud of, but it IS part of being a human being.

Um, I think my point was that jezebel- your horse is too high sometimes- you outdo yourself sometimes because you deny things that are inherent in you yourselves, which you should admit to.
But whatevers, they don't read my blog.


cyberfreak77 said...

Great read. You really bitched the shit out of this false feminist. Even though in my opinion it goes not naturaly along with just being a human being. More likely with just being a bitch being. Ha! And I am really curious where this natural behaviour will lead to when in the future most of the worlds states will be governed by women.

fucking italian said...

I'm a so sorry I get in your way
scooza !

Eshniner Forest said...

Most all people have a form of non complacent attitude towards some subject. Its natural to dislike or hate something. Just look at all the fun religions and belief systems that have pop up all over the globe. I could go further on this subject, but I don’t want to be to much of a hater. Yes its unattractive, but unavoidable with the millions roaming the planet.

Dave said...


Permit her to bitch without intervention for at least 1 full minute. After one full minute has elapsed, repeat the simple phrase "I understand" every 30 seconds until she stops.

Magically, she'll think you were sensitive when in reality you couldn't care less what the hell she was talking about.

It works out famously.

shatteredpiecesofmind said...

lolz @ dave

hugz @ paperlilies ;)
you basicly said it, but not directly. once you are raised as a stereotypical woman, you might be able to free your thoughts from time to time .. but you wont change.

in jezbels case i think (hope) its done on purpose, not only to raise money but to bring in female views. because without that .. females might never find the other information. so what would it be good for then ...

ayemissbonny said...

"I say: So she's fat- she's in that go-to dress of the chubbo"
- Paperlilies

Don't get me wrong, it's your Blog, you can write about whatever you want and I enjoy reading it very much but this is ridiculous. You mocked a woman for being fat in the post just before this one.


NusaCat said...

Men like to bitch's just less socially acceptable for them to do it, so you hear it less often.

alaizabel said...

i completely agree with you. celebrity gossip is a great form of escapism & it's human nature to get pleasure out of other people's misery. sad but very true. women are all so insecure & jealous of each other.

females gossip to gain acceptance from their peers & to look like they're in the know. us females got the rough end of the deal in life so we have to feel superior somehow even if its at the expense of other people's happiness.