Yeah so I know I made that short post about being back and all, but I hardly posted anything this week. I feel a bit clearer-headed about how i feel about the internet and being 'a part of it'. It's like you have to keep feeding into it to get returns, which can be fun, but it is ultimately very draining. I feel like I am a little clearer about what I want to do, and why, with the internet (ie, mostly youtube, but maybe elsewhere online) from now. I want to do fun projects that kind of 'use' (not in a bad way) this asset of e-fame in some positive way.
Or... whatever happens to come into my mind. I started doing online stuff cause it was fun and interesting and something new. The weird efame thing came along and i got swept up in it a little, and felt like I needed to keep up appearances for it, and feed that beast, which can be fun, but it is so competetive and hard to keep up. I feel like I have gotten as much out of that as I can, mentally or whatever. So now I feel like I want to just do whatever I damn well please whenever I damn well want to. Which is dumb to say cause I know that's what most people do online. It's more what I don't do or say that I want to change. I avoid posting anything I think might be too incendiary because I worry that it will offend or fuck things up somehow. It's daunting.
Uh.... Anyway, today I watched Be Kind Rewind, and it made me long to make videos. It was a fantastic film in my opinion, and it really inspired me to want to DO something creative purely for the fun of doing it and entertaining yourself, and others too.