Sunday, November 18, 2007

'meh'

Yeah so, sorry to any new readers of this blog, who may have been expecting it to not suck, but.. yeah, I feel like ass right now. So I am going to post about it on my blog!!!

I've been whingeing to my friends lately, and annoying myself with my depressive behaviour for a good few weeks now. I don't know what set it off, but yeah, of late, I have felt like a lot of ass. I think it was when I quit/got fired from that stupid job I was doing with Kwai Chi. I got an awesome job right after it though, which is way way better, so I should be all up on cloud nine now but I'm not, and things which ought to be making my crazy happy aren't really changing my default mood to anything more than 'meh'.

Everything I think of doing, I am met with 'meh'. from myself!! I think of a fun video to make but I don't have the interest or the energy to make it so. I don't care about anything enough! Bah. I have all these things I COULD do, but none of them seem that interesting to me. I am being a pain in the ass.

I guess the solution is to just do anything. I have the mantra of 'just do stuff'. which is what i know I ought to do. But i'm not. I am writing this self indulgent blog about home grumpy and low I am of late.

26 comments:

MrBlonde said...

It sounds like one of this moments when all you have to do is to go out at night and unleash your inner 'meh' by dancing (and optionally drinking something) to death.

That, at least for some girls, can be substituted for going shopping, the classical medicine for a woman's worries. I will never understand that. But I don't know if you are one of that kind of girls.

Others would say 'All you need is love'... but I don't know if that applies to you.

DutchGirl107 said...

Well, we all have that sometimes and it'll go away.

Of course there are some things that might help ;)

You might not feel like going out with friends right now, but you SHOULD! Once you're there, and you're having a good time, all is better ;)

Like mrblonde said, you could also go shopping or whatever.

If you're in need of a boyfriend (or girlfriend, who knows ;)) you should deff go out there because you're not going to meet him sitting in your room haha!

Good luck and take care ;)

sorksam said...

Nice of you to write about these things, it is comforting to see that even you can be a bit low. (I mean you're so, uhm you know, awesome/cool and so on).
One positive thing is that feeling down could help bring your artistic abilities to new heights, so put on your pyjamas and wallow away!

But I wish there was a rule saying that people like you didn't ever have to feel down. It doesn't seem right. But I guess everyone has to go through it. A year ago I felt like nothing at all was fun or interesting or anything. Now I'm basically in love with everything: school, this autumn, books, making music, and a girl at school (I think). It is like night and day.

Hopefully it can soon change to day for you as well!

sorksam said...

and to mrblonde and dutchgirl107: I never hang out with friends or go to parties and avoid shopping as much as possible. I'm still happier than I have been in a long time. This is strange I think :).

Anonymous said...

P Lil,

From my vantage point, your problems are pretty clear. Face your demons Paperlilies. You're not going to be happy until you're independently wealthy, laying on a beach somewhere, and making random videos at your whim. Don't feel bad, though, you're hardly alone in most of those feelings. Just focus on the prize, P. Only do that which rewards.

Dave

icenation said...

I've felt exactly like you have in the past...for me, it got so bad that I ended up seeking help. I've found that talking to someone always helps in situations like this. Whether it be a professional therapist, a close friend, or even someone out here on the internets, you'd be surprised at how important just talking to people is...I know I was. Always know that there are a lot of us out here in internet land that really do care and are always willing to listen and talk if you need us. As I always say to my students, "turn that frown upside down" and "let a smile be your umbrella!" I know it's corny, but if you can picture a dorky teacher saying that to a kid and getting a giggle out of it, then mission accomplished. :-)

Neogeta said...

I can kinda understand where your meh is from. If its about your old job, do a vid go to town let it all out *bleep* out the company name etc and just let rip. That's what i'm planning to do, thats when I actually get my voice back grr!

Keep on smiling!! :)

BadAlbert said...

It's also winter, it's dark and it sucks, which doesn't help one to feel very optimistic. You could start drinking heavily, wrap yourself in an old blanket, and sit swearing at the television, occasionally looking up at the cieling and cursing the gods. Works for me...

crick14 said...

Yeah, I know what you mean. I just got a new job and I've got a new girlfriend but I still have that weird depressive mood going on. Posting videos on YT helps a little though, it's like free therapy in a way.

NusaCat said...

Just scream! Go ahead, SCREAM! There, now don't you feel better?

NusaCat said...

Just scream! Go ahead, SCREAM! There, now don't you feel better?

Martin said...

first of all "meh" is my word!!! i got dibs on it, secondly, we all have down time,i got this crappy job just now that i do on weekends, on a saturday i'm up and i love it, on a sunday i'm like NOOOOOOOOOO and just cant be mehed going :p but still it's just like christmas you open the present are disappointed but act happy play with the new toy for 5 mins and throw it away when the person leaves, we all know we shouldnt do this but like i said stuff happens.



ps. chocolate works too!!!

shadx said...

What about doing something new or something you haven't done in awhile?
Skydiving? Bumper cars?

Or see some rock'n'roll and drink and dance or lose your self to some house music (like some deep funk) etc.
Or when the folks are gone get some vodka and just listen to music in your room and rock out.
Try painting in a different style.
Find another part of your self.
Getting someone else out of a meh mood can get you out of it too.
Keep your eyes to the sky:)

Chris said...

Hiya, just saw your latest vid and thought it was cool but the cape has to go, please... haha... I just can't bare to look at it anymore. Anyways you a joker and very opinionated and love your videos, so keep them coming. Whenyou have time, of course. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Self Analysis may help look within at what's causing you to feel down. Sometimes it can be where you are presently and where you envisaged you'd be now in life being vastly different. There's no easy fix but focus on the things that at least in the past raised your spirits.

tejayce said...

i wouldnt take these advises as the first step. dont run away when somethings not right. if we lived closer to eachother, i would suggest we meet and have a in dept talk about it. i guess i could help you find out what "unsolved problem" you are still carrying with you. but well, if you dont want to pay for some kind of counseling, i guess you have to try it yourself. just try to walk through every single unimportant detail and ask yourself how you feel about it, maybe your lucky. (my wild guess: has it smth to do with the fact you worked with kwai chi? did he get you the job? if yes, talk to him maybe? i can imagine it could suck to get a job from a friend and then get fired/quit .. i would feel like letting him down)

only once youve found out what it is .. and solved it .. you should move on and reward yourself/entertain yourself to raise the mood.

Anonymous said...

When i feel "meh" I go for a run or work out.

tlg847 said...

Well, is this blog nothing or is it something? If it's nothing, then you're right: you're wasting your time whingeing on it. If it's something, then use it to help you figure out how to get yourself over to some other place.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well =[ I hope it gets better soon! It's really a shame you don't have thanksgiving in england, because it sounds like you could really use a nice gigantic amazing meal to cheer you up =] not to mention maybe a little time off from work and such

well anyways, I've only like, just discovered you and here i am rambling on about how you can feel better...haha sorry about that. Just ignore the random american girl if you want =D

Hope you feel better =]

-Lacey ( on youtube- coresca )

JJC1138 said...

Sorry to hear you're feeling down. Obviously all the wisdom of the world is contained in The Simpsons so my advice is... it's okay to be sad sometimes; eventually you'll feel better (season 1, episode 6). You may also want to visit a Jazz saxophonist to learn to play the blues, but I'm not sure if that part is essential.

Anonymous said...

When I'm feeling down I get on YouTube and watch a Paperlilies video it never fails to put a smile on my face. I know that doesn't help you much but maybe you could paint your depression, capture your "meh" on canvas.
just a thought.

Anonymous said...

...and then sell it for a zillion bucks and be happy with what you've got.

WildbillthePirate said...

In order to have the Tremendous Heights, You also get the Dreadful Lows. Ignore it. It will go away on it's own. You aren't your Emotions any more than you are your clothes-They come, they go, some of them are beautiful, some are...less so.
You are normally a cheerful, upbeat person. Your "Pork Chops" video is a great example. You will return to it on your own. Everyone has these times.

Alexandrou said...

I was thinking about quoting the old lady in the im the only gay in this village sketch but decided that it may be in poor taste.

At least you know that your in a shit mood, thats the first way forward. I dont know if this is a good suggestion but maybe you should think about doing some exercise? Not because your fat because your anything but LOL But it has been proven that exercising releases chemicals that make you happy. If that doesnt work then refer back to my original suggestion XD

manapa99 said...

Hi PL,
I'm kind of new to the whole Youtube thing and this feels weird, almost like intruding when uninvited. Sorry about that I’m also new to blogs for the most part.
Anyway I just wanted to say I have felt similar to that and sometimes it helps to just take a break enjoy some fresh air and just let go for a while of everything.
For me that's music or just sitting outside listening to the wind. I know that sounds crazy, maybe it is lol but it helps me get back into a balance and out of the meh phases...
I love your videos and I’m really getting hooked as a youtube viewer but don’t think I will ever be able to post videos lol not that brave and I admire all of you out there who do.
Thanks and I hope ya find some balance and feel better

Simon said...

Sometimes I look at 'Ted Talks' videos for inspiration. Smart and interesting in a no nonsense package.

http://www.ted.com/themes/view/id/25